I genuinely have no idea how to open this blog post. Usually (or at least I try to!) I try and have some shape or form of an introduction which somehow makes it seem that I actually know what I’m taking about and not throwing random words out onto a page and hoping for the best (people tell me it’s good, so I’m not complaining!). For the past couple of weeks though, things have started to speed up. Where once I could have stopped and sampled the little anecdotes of everyday life and the inner goings on across Cork City in various alleyways and suburbs, now everything is almost constantly on the go, days are going by like tablets in water.
Amongst it all though; the changing of the calendars and all the nitty gritty crossing of my t’s and dotting of my I’s, I have to say it is fun. Every day there’s new people and ideas to explore. Everyone has a story to tell or their own different opinions and tastes on the world. Even in my own head; I’m finally starting to creep open the door and get stuck into things (I’M AN ACTUAL WRITER! AND HAVE GOTTEN A CARTOON PUBLSHED! My Nan is very impressed!). Regardless though, one thing is on my mind; in the pace of everything, can you lose who you are?
Okay, stop laughing.
Alright… it’s a little funny.
I’m a nineteen year old college student with a job and in a few weeks I’m going to be watching my boyhood club play in the national stadium; I have no reason to have any questions or queries about anything. Yet, somehow, this one though prevails over it all. Have I lose myself? Am I now trying to be myself too much just because I have to? Don’t worry I’m not going mad or anything. It’s like, these days with everything going on; LECTURERS, TUTORIALS, ASSIGNMENTS, WORK, everything that was once myself has been put to the side. Every morning it’s almost like, “I’ll read the comics later!” knowing full well the stack has been there since June and I somehow have yet to commit myself. Even with sports. At the 2014 FAI Cup semi-final, when I travelled up to Bray with my best friends, I found myself only at 90%, my eyes on the match yet my head 20,000 miles away thinking of what else has to be done, for when and will I be good enough to do it. Even past hobbies are starting to face the blunt of it. Once, I’d have lived and died on a stage, these days I couldn’t recite two lines of Shakespeare even if you asked me, nevermind get up onstage. I’m trying to stay involved in St. Johns, but due to work my hours are suffering.
I think this is what growing up is like, where I start turning into the person that people talk about at dinner parties and when driving home from their child’s match. Still though, against everything and with my Batman comic in my bag on Wednesday and City jersey on, I might as well grin and bear it. Growing up isn’t fun, seeing our own innocence chipped and ebbed away by the sheer pace of life isn’t nice, but there isn’t anything we can do. But deep down beneath the masks we throw upon ourselves every day; the busy bees who dart from one destination to the next, we’ll always be the five year old watching cartoons on a Saturday afternoon. No matter who we are; whenever Doctors, Nurses, Politicians, Accountants, we’ll always laugh every so often and take time to watch some out of this world random cartoon show which anchors us to our innocence. We’ll never shake off who we are, just build upon it; sometimes for the better.
Even myself; at the moment I seem to be getting political, cynical and my jokes even worse. Underneath it all though, I’m itching and dying for a Simpsons reference or the new Batman movie!!
Thanks for reading as always,